Where I'm at

I am in an odd sort of mood today. Not happy, not sad, not hopeful, not bleak...just...here. I just finished my daily blog reading, and CrazyUs(.com) was intense today. I followed all the links in her blog entry and found several deep and introspective past entries that have put me in this strange emotional place.

It is a beautiful day -- blue sky, cool breeze -- the kind of day you just don't want to be sitting in a cubicle. I am very grateful, though, to have a cubicle in which to sit. I am feeling pretty productive at work the past week or so, which is good.

My dad is doing well, recovering day by day. He's having these strange hallucinations, which he and my mom attributed to the painkillers, but his Dr. said that actually, lots of people who have been on the heart/lung machine during bypass surgery seem to hallucinate for weeks afterwards. There doesn't seem to be a medical reason why, it's one of those spiritual mysteries -- but I think it's totally cool that his doctor warned him, it's THAT common. And that my dad seems cooled out by the whole thing -- vs. scared to death, which is how I imagine I'd feel if I woke up to see the King and Queen of England sitting by my bedside. But hey, that's me...

I guess what's notable about where I'm "at" today is I'm not in a good or a bad place; I'm...no place, if that's possible. I am feeling content, pensive, sad, happy, hopeful and disappointed, all simultaneously, and for no good reason. Maybe I need to look at my calendar and see what time of the month it is...hmmmmm.......

That's all I got so far today. If anything comes to me in a flash of brilliance, I will surely update all you folks out there on The Internets. (heehee)

Ciao for now.