I've been wanting to do this thing for, oh, at least a year, but today I finally a) remembered and brought the supplies, and b) made myself follow through. This thing, this huge thing for me, is forcing myself to wear my "new" contact lenses I got just about a year ago and have only worn a handful of times. Cutting out a lot of history going back and forth and then wearing glasses for years, last year I made the "decision" to try hard lenses again. Sorry, not "hard" -- "gas permeable" (hard). I. Hate. Them. Just like I hated them when I first tried them about 6 years ago. BUT. And this is the real big BUT -- I can see so well out of them it's spooky. MUCH better than I ever saw in soft lenses or my glasses. But it's such an ordeal for me to put them in, wear them long enough to let my eyes get used to them, and then I can't take them out without a tiny plunger thingie -- it's all rather exhausting and requires, well, patience. And if I have learned one thing in 35 years, it's that I am not great with patience.
But lately I've noticed I can't see as well through my glasses, and it might be time to go get another pair (for a paltry $700). I made a pact w/myself that I would first try to wear the contacts again. So after weeks of "forgetting" them at home, today I brought them, and I just put them in. And. And. I can SEE. It's amazing, actually. Everything is crisp and has edges. Even though my eyes itch and want to reject the hard pieces of plastic adorning them, they are not straining to see. It's very surreal. I'm uncomfortable, but also excited. I can see!!!
Which brings me to the clarity part. Of course i'm not just referring to physically being able to see, that would be too simple, too obvious for an introspective creature like myself. I'm referring to how I've noticed, in just a few short minutes, that I feel somehow more connected with the world in my contacts. I know that by shedding the specs I've literally stripped a layer from between me and the world, but it's more than that. I feel like I'm really present. Really here, in the moment. I like it. This may be dorky or naive (or both), but I'm thinking this may be the little nudge that's going to start me on my path to a better me. Sometimes all it takes is one small change to get the ball rolling, I've found.
So, we'll see. Pun intended.