Friday, February 18, 2005

What we don't remember

Since I've had hours and days on end to read my Oprah magazine, I mean READ it, every article, I learned some really spooky stuff in this month's issue. Most notably, there is an article on repression (http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/omag/ss_omag_200503_mbeck.jhtml). Like, things we know but won't face. Don't think that applies to you? Well, here are the questions it says to ask yourself:

-What do I almost know?
-What do I almost feel?
-What would I want to do if it weren't forbidden?
-What am I tired of hiding from myself?
-What really happened, though I act as if it never did?
-What is it that my family and I all know but no one ever talks about?

People, these questions reverberated inside my brain and stopped me in my tracks. I might even make some reference to my heart actually stopping, but that would be tacky under the circumstances. Here's the part that is freaking me out -- even as I read the questions and get goose bumps and think to myself "wow.", I WILL NOT LET MYSELF ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. I have reread the article several times, but I canNOT make myself respond, even in my brain. Like, that is such a blatent example of what the whole article is talking about, that it's frightening. I don't think I have anything truly earth-shattering hovering below the surface, but to answer these questions honestly? Holy crap. I'm going to have to work up to it. And I may not post the answers in the blog when I do face them. We'll see how incapacitated the answers render me.

My brain is now officially and completely fried for the week. It has had all it can take and has separated from my body.

Guess i'd better get back to work... ;)

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