Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Plain vanilla.

I ventured forth today in the more than 100-degree heat, on a pilgrimage for ice cream. And tampons and lunchmeat and other stuff. But most importantly, the ice cream. I ventured to the Giant Walmart that has been built less than a mile from my house. I am not a fan, I much prefer Target. However, Walmart was closer and I was hot.

Ok, not too crowded in the middle of the afternoon, good to know, good to know. I even found a parking space within a quarter mile of the door -- woo hoo! But something happened to me as I entered the Behemoth Discount Nightmare (BDN). As I often do when I'm overwhelmed, I got flustered and committed several no-nos. I forgot the tampons. I accidentally bought a flowerpot I thought was $10, but turned out to be $20. And worst of all, I f***ed up the ice cream.

Yes, even though I spent a good five minutes peering into the cooler, reading labels, determining that my favorite flavor was out of stock (brownie batter -- mmmmm), deciding to try the new cream and chocolate cookie flavor -- it was all for naught. Because when I was checking out, I realized I'd accidentally grabbed Ben & Jerry's Vanilla. Plain vanilla. And not just ANY plain vanilla, but ORGANIC plain vanilla. Which, gross on all counts. As an ice cream snob, I only like vanilla ice cream if it's swirled with fudge and candy and marshmallows and caramel and...anything but nuts, basically. And to buy the Cadillac of ice cream, B&Js, and get PLAIN VANILLA, well that's just...nuts, basically.

But did I put it back? Nooooo. I'd waited in line for 10 minutes and everything was melting and I suppose I thought maybe I'd use it to lure Tamara back over to my house soon. So.........Tam?

I can't help but wonder, why do I detest plain vanilla? Why do I have to have fancy ice cream? Could it be the same reason I have trouble accepting things that are obvious to other people? Why I never believe it could be "that simple"? Do I crave drama? Do I need to complicate my life to make it interesting, and ice cream is simply a metaphor for life???

um, no. I just prefer chocolate.
But not just any chocolate; THIS chocolate...


Nicole said...

It's Mom's fault...she never bought us anything normal. It was always rainbow pop-tarts with sprinkles, razzle-berry pie, or blue kool-ade.

Sorry your WalMart experience was sub-par. Their prices are really much better than Target's if you look hard enough! I found a $70 down comforter on sale for $10 a couple weeks ago!

Hope said...

Put the vanilla in the blender along with some Bailey's Irish Creme and a splash of milk. You'll have a darn tasty drink in the end!

Lisabell said...

Amen, sistahs :)

Tamara said...

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm. Vanilla. What could be better? Perfect, simple goodness. So did you try it when you got home? Are you SURE you don't like it? Yes, this will get me back over there. No more snakes. Vanilla ice cream in the fridge. I'm on my way over.