I ventured forth today in the more than 100-degree heat, on a pilgrimage for ice cream. And tampons and lunchmeat and other stuff. But most importantly, the ice cream. I ventured to the Giant Walmart that has been built less than a mile from my house. I am not a fan, I much prefer Target. However, Walmart was closer and I was hot.
Ok, not too crowded in the middle of the afternoon, good to know, good to know. I even found a parking space within a quarter mile of the door -- woo hoo! But something happened to me as I entered the Behemoth Discount Nightmare (BDN). As I often do when I'm overwhelmed, I got flustered and committed several no-nos. I forgot the tampons. I accidentally bought a flowerpot I thought was $10, but turned out to be $20. And worst of all, I f***ed up the ice cream.
Yes, even though I spent a good five minutes peering into the cooler, reading labels, determining that my favorite flavor was out of stock (brownie batter -- mmmmm), deciding to try the new cream and chocolate cookie flavor -- it was all for naught. Because when I was checking out, I realized I'd accidentally grabbed Ben & Jerry's Vanilla. Plain vanilla. And not just ANY plain vanilla, but ORGANIC plain vanilla. Which, gross on all counts. As an ice cream snob, I only like vanilla ice cream if it's swirled with fudge and candy and marshmallows and caramel and...anything but nuts, basically. And to buy the Cadillac of ice cream, B&Js, and get PLAIN VANILLA, well that's just...nuts, basically.
But did I put it back? Nooooo. I'd waited in line for 10 minutes and everything was melting and I suppose I thought maybe I'd use it to lure Tamara back over to my house soon. So.........Tam?
I can't help but wonder, why do I detest plain vanilla? Why do I have to have fancy ice cream? Could it be the same reason I have trouble accepting things that are obvious to other people? Why I never believe it could be "that simple"? Do I crave drama? Do I need to complicate my life to make it interesting, and ice cream is simply a metaphor for life???
um, no. I just prefer chocolate.
But not just any chocolate; THIS chocolate...