Monday, June 12, 2006

My struggle with cabin fever

Sometimes there’s just not enough stuff on the Internet. I am trying to procrastinate, dammit, and I can’t find anything I haven’t already surfed 10 times – I even looked up and downloaded that song from the Liberty Mutual commercial. The main problem is that anything really entertaining costs money. I haven’t left the house in 2 days because I’m trying not to spend money. (Well, also, i'm completely nocturnal now). And it’s almost impossible to leave the house and not spend anything. It’s also really hard to surf the Internet with no money to spend. Ok, I’ll admit it – I love spending money. It’s like a high for me – and before you go calling me a shopping addict, let me just point out that obviously I’m not, or I’d be out shopping right now – because Lord knows I could use a high.

I’m getting bored and antsy. Yes I’m still looking for jobs, of course I am, but there’s nothing going on right now. I have an eensy bit of freelance work that is also boring (thus the procrastination). As anyone who has had a prolonged job hunt knows, these things take time – it’s basically a waiting game, and it’s only “cool” to “check in” with people once a week or so. So in the meantime, I’m stuck organizing my iTunes, watching a lot of TV, and looking up commercials on the Internet.

In 2 weeks I go on the DC trip with my family, but that won’t exactly be a vacation; it promises to be busy and action-packed, with lots of scheduled activities – not my favorite format, but it is what it is. It will be fun to hang out with my family, especially my sis, but I kinda wish we were going on, say, an Alaskan Cruise instead… that’s actually not a bad idea; wonder if somehow I could plant the seed for next year…

Here it is mid-June somehow. Did I mention how antsy I am??? Also, I’m ready to get out of this house, like for good. But orchestrating that is impossible until I have a job. And know where I’m going to be living. Like, in what state. So there’s this underlying tension that the summer is halfway over and my house isn’t on the market yet, and there’s nothing I can do except keep packing boxes.

Happy happy Monday. At least it’s over.

1 comment:

Dipu said...

I hear ya. It's amazing how much it all changes when you realize you shouldn't be spending money. And combined with that damn holding pattern, waiting for something beyond your control to finally happen ... ugh.

No need to plant the seed on an Alaskan cruise sequel. It's already in the ground. The problem is the damn drought won't let it grow yet...

Ah, optimism...