the sky is falling

or rather, the moon...

I just had an unfortunate shower incident. I am still traumatized, and thought perhaps writing about it would purge me of the dreadful memory.

The accident involved dropping this lovely, large, LUSH soap:



While lovely, yes; creamy, yes; gorgeous and fragrant, yes; that mofo is slippery. It is like holding a slimy boomerang in your hand. It is much larger than my hand, so I had to grip it around the face, which you would think would be nice and secure. Not so. In any event, my lovely moon-face soap now has a lovely dent, as does my foot. At a critical moment, I accidentally flung the slippery moon-face soap into my shower window, where it bounced off, knocking three bottles of shower gel and two soap dishes full of other soaps out of the window sill -- and I witnessed all this with soap in my eyes and a razor in my hand. Thank Heavens I jumped in surprise or surely my feet would have been crushed by the falling rubble. As it turned out, I simply have a red "egg" growing on the side of my left foot where the moon-face itself glanced off the side before schizing down the center of my tub and collecting with the other asundry items that were now clogging the drain.

The moral of the story: shaped soaps are indeed lovely, especially those from LUSH, but they are f-ing slippery and overall, dangerous if you live alone and like to shower at 1 am. By candlelight. ahem.

Perhaps that was more than you wished to imagine. But it is the truth, people, and I speak nothing if not the TRUTH.

Beware soap that has a face.