Monday, May 01, 2006

My eyes. They suck. And possibly my cats, too.

So this afternoon I took a long, langorous shower. As I stepped out into the steamy bathroom, I saw Jess sitting patiently by the door, so I started cooing and chirping at him. "Hello JESSSSSSS, were you waiting for me? huh? well here I am! You're so handsome, you're such a handsome gray cat..." etc etc. I finally located my glasses on the counter and slipped them on -- to find myself cooing at the t-shirt I had removed right. before. my. shower.

In other news, I have had to retrieve two lizards from the jaws of mis gatos in the past few days -- one was alive and one -- not so much. I tell myself he might have just been dazed...I mean, lizards are cold anyway, right??? I can't really punish los gatos, because you know, they're cats. They proudly brought both acquisitions right to me in the house in expectation of the requisite praise. In retrospect, it probably confused them when I pried their jaws open, took their prey, and yelled "ASSHOLES" as I flew through the house to put the lizard back outside. And ban the kitties from anymore outside until tomorrow. But, really, what are you gonna do? See Babs's similar experience...

Ahh, the exciting life of unemployment. Hopefully that will change soon...

5 comments:

sarah said...

LOL! I too have cooed to my "cat" who was actually a grey t-shirt by my closet. Someday, we will have eye surgery and will no longer "pet-talk" our laundry.

Crazy MomCat said...

Dude...you need better glasses!

HEE! HEE! This was hilarious!

Hope said...

That's hysterical.

Nicole said...

I'll get lasik with you! It's only $2K per eye! A bargain!

Tamara said...

STILL cracking up and I read it yesterday.