Sunday, February 26, 2006

excuse me while i flog myself for not exercising

So here I am on the eve of another Monday i'm not really ready for. While I was somewhat productive this weekend, i'm still frantically trying to finish my freelance project. Yes, the one that's kinda late. That one. So what am I doing? Blogging. That's how much i love you, Internet.

I am feeling a little blue tonight; I can feel my body changing, feel its shape shifting, yet I weighed myself this morning and only lost a pound this past week. It's my own fault -- I am sticking to the eating almost too well, and have been largely unable to meet my calorie requirements on a daily basis. That is, I keep coming in significantly under what I'm supposed to eat. Because I'm already kind of bored with food. And I don't like to snack. And I needed to go to the grocery store this weekend, but I didn't. And if I'm not driven by emotions, I might as well not eat, it seems. It's hard to get excited about eating yogurt. Again. I've never had a real problem getting hungry on diets; I just get bored. Anyway, the fact that i'm not eating enough is probably causing my metabolism to slow down a bit.

Also? I exercised minimally last week. And I feel like crap about it. But I suppose that's why I hired a trainer in the first place, to stoke my severe lack of self motivation. I cannot seem to motivate myself to exercise yet -- maybe because i'm still adjusting to the drastically different eating? I don't know. I know I need to just do it. But there always seems to be something better to do. Or I get home and it's already dark outside and i'm scared to walk alone in my dark neighborhood full of pod people. Not because it feels dangerous; it just plain gives me the willies. [This neighborhood is full of young families. But come 6:30 pm? Not a soul is outside. Not One. Single. Person. It's deadly quiet and downright creepy. I know it's ridiculous, but when I'm walking I feel like all these eyes are staring at me out the windows, staring at the chubby single girl who also hardly ever emerges from her house. And even though I have the iPod, I am loathe to wear it walking after dark because I feel too vulnerable not being able to hear. Neurotic? I don't know.] But it's only the end of week 2, so I guess I can not totally beat myself into a pulp. sigh.

So I tried to cook this weekend. Oh, how I tried. I bought meat at the grocery store last week. I thawed it in the fridge. I searched the Internet and downloaded a low-fat recipe. I began the dish yesterday, and let it marinate overnight. Today was the big day -- I cooked it. And? It totally fucking sucked. I took one bite and threw all of it away. It was not just tasteless, it was disgusting. And this, people, is why I hate to cook. No matter what I do, I have never had a successful cooking experience. It always sucks.

Um, I didn't really mean for this to be a bitching blog, but oh well i'm already on a roll :)

But, I am also done.

For now.

10 comments:

sarah said...

Please don't feel bad about the meat thing. I enjoy cooking. I've been cooking for years and I will tell you this: unless it's covered in breadcrumbs, I cannot cook meat worth a damn. I can bake, but that really doesn't help with my "eating healthy" plan.
Don't give up. Maybe try a rice or squash casserole. Warm, gooey, and oh-so-satisfying.

Dipu said...

I'm telling you, just bake some meat (chicken, beef, pork, whatever) with garlic, salt, pepper, thyme, soy sauce. Or use McCormick's Montreal steak or chicken seasoning. Or you could of course use the various Spiceburst options for salt. (End plug). Regardless, the result should be low-fat, tasty, and easy.

matthewstoryteller said...

When it comes to cooking meat low fat, the broiler is your best friend. Cooks quickly, and gives you almost the same texture and flavor as cooking out. Just make sure you have a pan that will drain away the drippings.

Another quick idea. Get a nice piece of salmon or tilapia, brush a little olive oil on each side with some salt, pepper and dill. Pop it into the oven at about 375, and watch it sizzle. Very tasty.

You can also dice some chicken, or some healthy choice sausage and toss it into your skillet over medium heat with some fresh veggies a little olive oil and your favorite spices. Yummy...

I also got a WW recipe for garlicky shrimp scampy that I'm gonna try. If it works, I'll send it your way. :)

Lisabell said...

You guys are all very sweet. this is how cooking-retarded I am, though: Dipu, when you say "bake it", at what temp? and for how long? Same with Matt's suggestion for broiling -- how long? you're talking to the person who literally does not know how to boil an egg. Although I have had some advice on that and just need to DO IT :)

My biggest cooking achievement of 2005 was chocolate chip pancakes -- for which my sister gave me detailed, long-distance directions. And the irony is that now I can't even eat them :(

Sarah, your casserole idea is a good one; i'm going to go search now for low-fat casserole ideas, if there is such a thing...

Babs said...

I have to commment on your blog AND your comment above... I'm so cooking-retarded that I used to use a COOKBOOK with instructions for how to boil an egg! Methinks we're the types of girls that need a man that likes to cook. ;-)

btw, I think the trick for walking after dark in your neighborhood is to make up little stories about the houses you pass... usually I'll have a running commentary in my head about the bad landscaping choices, the houses that never close their blinds, the bad paint colors, the houses where highschool garage bands play, etc. Another bonus is that it's the time of year where it'll stay light later and later after work!

Hope said...

Do you have someone who would walk with you? I alwasy loved catching up on girl time by walking at night. You could get so much off your chest, lose weight and just laugh. Though I do the naughty thing and walk with my iPod on after dark. Now that I have a dog I don't mind as much, he'll alert me to anything.

Good luck with the cooking. I'm a better cook than baker, you have to exact in baking so I usually mess things up. I love the meat suggestions people gave you, I might have to try a few.

Tamara said...

I am SO embarrassed to say this out loud on the internet, but I will do it for you. I have 3 words for you: George. Foreman. Grill.
Buy it. It will change your life. I am not kidding.

Dipu said...

Cooking doesn't have to be an exact science. What temp and how long? I usually set it to somewhere between 350 and 425. As for time, 15-20 minutes should be plenty. Basically, long enough so the meat looks done. Also, I usually add some water to the pan so that the meat doesn't dry out, then use that to mix it with rice. If I add water, I'll bake it longer. This assumes I'm already using fairly low-fat meat; otherwise, Matt's suggestion of using a broiling pan is probably better. So is Tam's; I've been tempted by that George Foreman grill.

Also, being single, I rarely use my actual full-size oven. Most of this baking I do is in my toaster oven. Yes, my toaster oven...

Nicole said...

Sistah, I have 2 words for you: crock pot. We just got one and it is my way of cooking. It comes with a cookbook but I'm sure you could get lots of ideas from the web. Just throw the stuff in and turn it on. When you get home it will be done!

the chippie said...

I really liked what Barbara had to say about walking alone at night. I love to peer into windows and imagine what kind of life is being lived inside. And all of a sudden I sound totally effin creepy. Maybe peer was the wrong word? Whatever, I totally make up stories like she does -- and it totally passes the time.

Regarding your cooking... I'm telling you, you need to get that book How To Cook Everything. A friend of mine could only "cook" pop tarts and now she makes shit way more advanced than I do.