Thursday, January 13, 2005

Disdain and loathing in Austin, Texas

I. Loathe. My ex-husband. People close to me, especially those who knew him, understand and empathize because he totally deserves it. It is not a vindictive "I hate my ex" thing, because once we made the decision we literally have not talked or seen each other since then (7 years ago) -- we just wanted it to be over. I do not spend much energy these days thinking of him, much less getting all riled about him, but today ... today he pushed my buttons.

See, he has this website. It's a pathetic shrine to his ego and what he thinks about himself, and that's bad enough -- but it is also a scary portal into his sociopathic soul. On this site, he posts photoshopped pics of himself; lies; exaggerates; and annoys, in all the ways that made me loathe him in the first place. But whatever, right? I just don't look at it. However, he crossed the line today.

On this site, his "I am a bonafide writer" site, he posts stories or chapters that he has written, things he hopes are good enough to get published. I've noticed in the past that he always uses the names of people he knows for his characters. I chalked it up to lack of imagination, but I also know that it's his passive aggressive way of striking out and making someone feel like an ass. Well, my sister, who scans his site more regularly just looking for familiar names, happened upon it today and found that he'd included her in his latest "book" excerpt. In a disrespectful and embarrassing portrayal. And that. Pisses. Me off.

She thinks it's kinda funny in its pathetic-ness, but she also knows if her husband were to find out my ex would get his ass seriously kicked, probably in front of his students (yes, he's a TEACHER who shapes young minds -- it is terrifying). So herein lies the dilemma. I wanted to send him a scathing email, but that would only get me involved with him again and I have no desire to get back on his radar screen in any way. My sister thought about sending him a scathing email, but she has three kids and doesn't really have the time and energy to spend on something that would prove fruitless anyway. Because we both know that the reason he posted it in the first place was to ANNOY. He WANTS to get a reaction, he LOVES stirring the shit. He is a coward, and the only way he knows to nurse his wounded ego is to make up stories about people who make him feel insecure. I already apologized, again, to my sister for bringing such vermin into our lives in the first place. But I tried to correct the mistake! I REALLY did!

So we will probably just keep quiet and do nothing. Hope that he's as much like a child as we suspect, in that if you ignore him he'll go away or give up. But I have to admit -- a part of me REALLY wants to tell my brother-in-law.

For real.


Crazy MomCat said...

Man. I can't believe that. But, you are SO right on the money about him enjoying getting you and your sister riled up. Don't EVER tell him you even know about his site...I feel like you'd really regret letting him know that in the end. Just peruse it every once in awhile to remind yourself why you got divorced!

Lisabell said...

Yes. You're absolutely right. i also realized that reading his website validates for me that I did the right thing 7 years ago -- because if I were still with him, NOTHING WOULD HAVE CHANGED. He is exactly the same. And I am so not.

Alysia said...

Wow. Gayne. It has been a while. Does he still use a nasal voice, I wonder? I thought about him the other day, and how we thought he was cool because he worked at Marshall Fields. He, like Marshall Fields, is so PASSE..