Thursday, August 03, 2006

Unrelated to my crazy life. Well, my CURRENT crazy life...

I got this idea from Hopelyn who got it from Fussy. I'm behind on blogging and it's been a while since I did a list, and this one caught my eye, so I present to you...

The Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Not With You Anymore

Let me preface this by saying I am not referring to just one, but to several exes.

1. You enjoyed killing squirrels with hammers.
2. That time I found a [real] severed bobcat paw sitting on the top shelf of your refrigerator.
2. Your temper and your love for guns scared me.
3. You were mean to my friends.
4. You were gay.
5. You married that girl while I was away at college.
6. You divorced that girl, impregnated her, then remarried her. Then divorced her again.
7. You thought you were always right and I hate that shit.
8. Your idea of the perfect marriage was my idea of the perfect nightmare.
9. My intensity scared you.
10. You were only good (ok, really good) at one thing.

The scary thing is I realized just now how easily this could turn into a Top 100 list...

2 comments:

Nicole said...

I have never heard do many valid reasons to not be with someone ;-). I'm behind on blogging, too. Maybe I'll start a list...

Hope said...

I was shocked at all the reasons I wasn't with someone anymore and it gave me a little perspective, I'm definitely better off alone sometimes :)

Here are a few others:

11. You had such a tiny penis I had to hold back from laughing.

12. I changed over time. You didn't.