Step 1: Allow a certain gray cat into my home office.
Step 2: Watch as said gray cat sashays back and forth on top of the desk, dipping his tail into my water glass, swishing it over my girl scout cookies, blocking my computer monitor with his large bottom.
Step 3: Encourage me to lean in close to his face and say "NO" very clearly.
Step 4: Watch as undeterred, he leans right back, touching my face with his juicy nose in a "I love you too" gesture.
Step 5: Allow cat to flop down on top of my keyboard as I type.
Step 6: Listen as exiled gray cat howls and mewls at the office door. Until I give up and let him back in.
Step 7: Repeat every 15 minutes.
If you were to stop by my place for dinner tonight? You'd be getting fried cat flank, that's for sure. Oh, and of course a nice bottle of wine...