Wednesday, December 14, 2005

dream a little dream

I have always been a vivid dreamer, and I have lots of recurring dreams. I’ve even had epic dreams before, ones that continue for years, off and on. I’ve had “lucid dreams” – where I’m in the dream and know it and tell myself, “You’re in a dream, hey, kiss Brad Pitt! Do it! It’s a dream!” or, “Shit, that’s a 12-foot spider – wake up, dumbass!”. I have always, always, dreamed in color. I don’t know what any of this means, but I’ve always felt enriched by my active dream life – like I look forward to going to sleep at night, curious to see what life I’ll live in my head for the next 7 hours…and when I have one of those lazy weekends where I nap off and on for two days, or when I’m sick – my dreams will totally shape my mood during that time. That’s why I’m often a little foggy on Mondays. (yeah, good excuse, huh?)

Granted, I have had some weird, disturbing dreams along the way. I thought it might be interesting/scary to make a little list… so here are some of the recurring ones:

• Losing teeth. All my teeth are loose and start falling out and there’s nothing I can do. I totally panic at this one. Or, I look in the mirror and my nice, straight teeth are yellow and crooked.
• Kittens. I dream a lot of kittens, and once or twice I’ve even dreamed of neon-colored kittens. Pretty cool.
• My HS sweetheart. He is a comforting character who shows up from time to time.
• My ex husband. He is a malevolent character who only appears when I’m really stressed out – the dream is always that we’re back together, only I’m who I am now, but I can’t get away from him for some reason. A total trapped, helpless feeling. (hello, Freud?)
• My cats. I dream that they’re running out the front door; as I catch one and put it back inside, another one makes a run for it. Another stress dream.
• There’s this giant, old, rambling mansion I run around in during dreams – it is the setting for random dreams here and there, sometimes good ones and sometimes nightmares.
• Someone is chasing me and I’m trying to run – but it’s like trying to run under water, and I just can’t get going.
• When I was a kid, I had a recurring dream that I was in my parents’ backyard, calling for help, and when I’d see my dad and start toward him –he’d take out a pistol and shoot me. Yes, yes, I’ve covered this one in therapy, and no, my dad has never aimed a gun at me…I truly don’t know what this one is all about, unless it has to do with the time when I was 5-6, and I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and crept into the kitchen, in the dark, to get a drink; and as I started back, feeling my way through the living room, my dad jumped out from the hallway with a gun, saw it was me, and lectured me to never EVER creep around at night again, because he thought I was a burglar and he could’ve shot me. Yeah, that might have something to do with the gun dream, huh…
• Dreams of being shot – NOT by dad, but by random bad people. The dream is more about feeling the impact, the realization I’ve been shot, then being aware of the wound and how it feels physically to be shot. Interesting because I’ve never been shot … at least not in this lifetime … (cue twilight zone music…)
• Falling/jumping off a cliff or building. The feeling of terror as I’m slipping, then release as I let go, then relief as I wake up and never hit the ground.
• Flying dreams – hooray for these!
• Making-out-with-celebrity dreams – double hooray for these! Seriously, I’ve made out with Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise (before he was a freak), Adam Ant, Matthew McConahicantspellit… oh yeah baby.
• Missing-the-test-in-college dreams – everyone has these, right?

Ok. So a lot of those are stress dreams – maybe that’s why they’re recurring? I have a feeling Freud would have a heyday with me. So, spill it – what recurring dreams to YOU have? And I fully expect some creepy admissions – I told you about the teeth and gun ones, after all…

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