Thursday, August 11, 2005

I wonder where he gets it?

I got takeout Mexican food the other night and they included a couple of pralines. I love these illicit treats, except for the pecans; I spend way too much time trying to suck the sugary substance off the pecans w/out having to ingest them (for more on this, see my post yesterday). I have given much thought to how one might make pralines without the pecans. Would it even work? Would the goo hold together or harden without something on which to adhere? Would chocolate chips work just as well? Why has no one ever thought of this besides me? Or have they? And if so, where can I get some???

So. I carefully unwrapped my praline and began the methodical process of removing as many pecans as possible. Somewhere in the process a large grey cat appeared out of nowhere and began not-so-sneakily trying to steal away with my treat. Now, although large, this cat usually doesn’t eat people food. The exception? Pastry. Like pop-tart crusts? He’s ALL ABOUT the pop-tart crusts, which makes us a great team b/c I hate them and remove them immediately anyway. But we don’t have a problem in that case, because we have a system – he has access to my plate and he knows only to grab the crusts. It works for us. BUT in the case of the praline? This was a feline possessed.

He climbed all over me. He planted his kitty arms directly on my boobs and leaned all 20-something pounds of himself onto them, straining to reach the prize. I sat chewing, with the praline raised above my head. Never did his gaze waver from my hand, or from that which I clutched. I brought the praline down to take another bite and he actually snapped at it, managing to get a tiny piece of dried sugar goo, which he greedily inhaled and then quickly went after more. Clearly, this was unacceptable. I began with the stern “NO”s, which, if you have cats, you know how well this works. It was like his entire grey body and mind was focused on nothing but that praline and how he must have it. He chilled after a while, that is, he quit climbing me, and just sat in my lap, his body taut and poised to strike, eyes trained on my upraised arm. After a long while, long after my arm got tired, he finally gave up and jumped down. I waited 5 minutes and tried to unwrap the praline again – WRONG. He came bolting out from wherever he was and the whole thing started again.

Interestingly, I just read an article a few weeks ago that claimed that cats cannot taste sugar. That if they eat sugary things, it’s not because of the “sweetness”, it’s because some other ingredient turns them on. Um, I’m calling BULLSHIT on that theory, as there is nothing else in a praline BUT sugar (well, and pecans, and he doesn’t like those either). This cat, he would not rest until I gave him a microscopic crumb and made myself stuff the rest of it whole into my mouth, pecans and all. Needless to say, I got my yearly praline fix…

I wonder where Jess gets his single-minded food fixation? Hmmm. I wonder why he scorns meat and cheese, but strongly desires pastry, bread and sugar? Oh, and chocolate ice cream? Yeah, cats can’t taste sugar. Or else…….maybe this proves my theory that Jess is at least partly dog? I have yet to meet another cat (and I have known many) that comes when called; begs for treats; comes to get me when he wants to go outside or when the litter box is unacceptable; nuzzles me awake with his wet nose; growls at strangers in the yard or on the porch……………………… food for thought.
Make that PRALINE for thought.


Crazy MomCat said...

Simba is fond of cream chese and pastrami. Hmmm...what does that say about her? If you try to make a pastrami sandwich (which I never do but Jimmy does), she will climb your body until she gets it. I guess it was the time tried pastrami, didn't like it, and fed it to her instead. Jimmy still hasn't forgiven me for introducing her to it. HA!

Babs said...

Dang, Jess is part dog, I swear! Your whole description of his food fixation sounds exactly like my dogs! Maybe he can somehow sense what your favorite foods are, so that's why he likes them? Like in his head, he's thinking "hey, gimme some... I want what you're having." Jess is my kinda cat. :)