Sunday, December 17, 2006

uncomfortably numb

The more it sinks in, the less I am aware of taking air into my lungs. When she first told me, I was oddly ambivalent. I felt nothing but curiosity. But an hour later, it hit me like a ton of bricks: once again, I had been passed over in favor of someone else. This has happened before. More than once. No matter what rational thoughts I might have had initially, right now all I can think of is how unlovable I must be. Because, seriously. Did I love him? No. Did I think we had a future? Not since 2001, no. But does it hurt that in the two months since I’ve last spoken to him, he’s managed to knock up his ex-girlfriend and propose to her? Why yes, yes it does.

7 comments:

Crazy MomCat said...

Whaaaa? Email me details. And, I'm sorry.

Babs said...

I knew that sick feeling in my stomach was there for a reason... Ugh. I feel for you.

matthewstoryteller said...

OH. MY. GOD!

What a slimy bastard!

I just don't know what else to say. :^(

Nicole said...

I'm sorry he hurt you. It was his loss all the way around. And I'm sorry for that child to have such a non-committal, flaky, immature boy-man as a father.

jotaeme said...

I know there's not a much worse feeling in the world. Hang in there, though. You'll find someone better who will treat you right. Take care of yourself and call us when you need us. We'll see you soon.

Dipu said...

Sorry. I know this isn't easy to hear.

sarah said...

Oh Lisa. God, that sucks. Know that I'm thinking about you.