Sunday, December 17, 2006

uncomfortably numb

The more it sinks in, the less I am aware of taking air into my lungs. When she first told me, I was oddly ambivalent. I felt nothing but curiosity. But an hour later, it hit me like a ton of bricks: once again, I had been passed over in favor of someone else. This has happened before. More than once. No matter what rational thoughts I might have had initially, right now all I can think of is how unlovable I must be. Because, seriously. Did I love him? No. Did I think we had a future? Not since 2001, no. But does it hurt that in the two months since I’ve last spoken to him, he’s managed to knock up his ex-girlfriend and propose to her? Why yes, yes it does.

5 comments:

Crazy MomCat said...

Whaaaa? Email me details. And, I'm sorry.

babs said...

I knew that sick feeling in my stomach was there for a reason... Ugh. I feel for you.

matthewstoryteller said...

OH. MY. GOD!

What a slimy bastard!

I just don't know what else to say. :^(

Nicole said...

I'm sorry he hurt you. It was his loss all the way around. And I'm sorry for that child to have such a non-committal, flaky, immature boy-man as a father.

Dipu said...

Sorry. I know this isn't easy to hear.