Monday, November 15, 2004

I'd rather be in Paris

Today it is cold and foggy and damp in our usually sunny and warm city. Unlike most people, I am in heaven. I love that I look out the window and can't see anything but white fog. It's like my building is floating in a cloud. Makes me want to curl up with hot chocolate and watch Sex and the City. Or something. Some of my friends (Tamara) think I'm insane for loving this weather, but let me explain....

So this is the time of year when I have travelled to Europe in the past. I love being in Paris when it's cold and gray -- I can't even imagine it any other way. It's sort of like, Paris, in my mind, is always in black and white. Even "live". So now that cooler weather has hit Austin, I'm really missing travelling abroad. I had planned to travel to Italy this Christmas, but so much happened this year -- I started a new job, got a new nephew, and had some health issues -- all reasons to stay stateside for the holidays. I'm still wanting to go soon, maybe in February, for my birthday perhaps.

I have a friend in Italy -- some may know he's a bit more than a friend, but it's obviously a long-distance thing so it's hard to say. We met in Barcelona, on Christmas Eve of 1997. I won't go into the whole story here -- I'll save that for another rainy day -- but it was very romantic and dreamlike, rather like being in a movie, the way it all happened. Very romantic, almost perfect, even. One of those events I will cherish forever, and maybe tell my grandkids one day, and they'll think "wow, grandma had an Italian love affair, how cool". Or something. Sometimes I can't quite believe it really happened, except for the fact that Rocco and I still correspond, 7 years later, and that we've met up once since then, in (you guessed it), Paris. So my trip to Italy is long anticipated. I have to admit, I always get more serious about visiting him when I'm single and bored. But what's wrong with clinging to a fantasy that is even somewhat real? That's more than a lot of people have, right? I'm pretty sure Rocco thinks the same about me. We'll go through periods of just friendly emailing, then passionate correspondence, promising to visit, sending cyber kisses -- then it will cool off again. But I REALLY want to go see him in the next 6 months. I have this secret fantasy that he's actually THE ONE and that's why I have failed to find anyone worthy of my affection in the past 7 years. And even if I go there and the spark is gone (which I SERIOUSLY doubt, my God he's hot), we'll still be friends, just like we are now. And that can't be bad. I have nothing to lose. Ahh, Rocco. This weather makes me feel nostalgic.

And that is why I love cold, gray days in Austin.

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