the magical cat

Once upon a time there was a shiny gray cat named Jess. After 11 blissful and healthy years with his Lovely Lisa (LL), he was diagnosed with feline diabetes. He suffered through a battery of tests, including LL poking his ears several times a day and doing that sneaky thing with his shoulders when he was eating. Because Jess was patient and good, he put up with all this because deep down he understood that there was a connection between these things and the fact that he'd been feeling much more like himself lately. And he trusted his LL. After exactly two and a half weeks, Jess was feeling sleepier and sleepier. He was still good natured and loyal, but just...sleepy. His LL noticed this and did the ear prick thing again -- and to everyone's shock, found that his blood glucose numbers had plunged to the point where he shouldn't be receiving insulin. Remarkably, he had not suffered the side effects of this error, other than the sleepiness. He endured many more ear pricks over the next few days, until one day he noticed that his LL was no longer doing that sneaky thing with his shoulders while he was eating. Then LL explained to him that because he was a magical cat, he had magically gotten better, and no longer needed the pricks at all! Just to make sure, his LL continued to prick his ear every couple of days, but a week later his numbers were better than ever and --- no insulin. And the kingdom rejoiced and there was much ... magic.

Yes, Jess is magical. He is healthy. He is off the insulin, for now. His vet said this happens sometimes, that the insulin can "kick start" a pancreas again, more or less. We have to be vigilant and continue testing him every few days, but for now he's much more himself and eating and sleeping better. We all are. Can I hear a WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!

In other news, here is a photo of my semi-new haircut, since some of you asked...

secret thoughts

• I don’t really like children all that much; only if there’s an emotional attachment (only nephews, friends' kids, etc).
• I fear I will wake up at 50 and wish I'd had children.
• I think I would be a shitty mother.
• I fear growing old by myself.
• I'm afraid I'll be poor when I retire.
• I am afraid that if I don’t lose the weight now, no one will ever love me in time to keep me from growing old by myself.
• I’m afraid that if I lose the weight and someone falls in love with me, I will secretly resent them forever for only loving skinny me.
• I’m think it’s inevitable that I will die of cancer or heart disease.
• I’m afraid I’ll always be in love with him.
• I’m scared that I’m losing touch with some of my closest friends because I moved out of state.
• I feel sad when I think about my other friends having kids because I know it will take them further away from me.
• I still fantasize about marrying a millionaire and never having to work again.
• I’m afraid if I didn’t have to work I’d go mad and/or gain 500 pounds.
• I think I’m unlovable—ultimately, men have always chosen mates other than me.
• I am often torn between lonely and grateful for my solitude.
• I’m too attached to my cat.
• Sometimes I really wonder what the point of it all is.
• I don’t like my job.
• I’m afraid something will happen to one of my parents and I won’t be able to get there in time.
• I feel very disconnected right now.
• I'm afraid I will never be published.
• I worry that my nephews won't like me when they get older.
• PMS kicks my ass.
  

I missed my calling. Or not...

Warning: Another diabetic post.

So first it was the shots. And they hardly freak me out at all anymore, nor Jess. But then after his vet visit this week, I was instructed to wake up at 4:30am that night (exactly 8 hours after his evening shot) to test his blood glucose. Ok, I said. How? That's when they told me I would have to make my cat bleed onto a very tiny strip of paper inside a delicate machine that turns itself off if you don't use it within like 15 seconds. Oh.

I went to Walgreens and bought the glucometer and supplies, and dutifully woke up at 4:30. However, I utterly failed to test his blood. I now think it was because I was wussy about it and didn't want to stick him hard enough to make him bleed. Here's the thing: I hate blood. I am not in the medical profession for a REASON, people. I can't watch while they draw my blood and I would rather be completely knocked out cold than be aware of anything medically intrusive happening to me. So this was a tall order.

I gave up and we all went back to sleep. I tried again Thursday night and was finally successful - in part because I practiced on poor Jess before we went to bed, to make sure I could do it. That first poke was pretty awful; I won't go into detail, but it bled a leeeetle bit more than it was supposed to. Jess was really a sport though. He was annoyed, but forgot as soon as I gave him treats.

Anyway, his nighttime number looked good so the vet said to stay the course on our current dose of insulin. Cool. Then came today, when I was home with him all day long. And I noticed that he slept a LOT. Like, more than usual. And he seemed kind of groggy when I would wake him up by petting him. He was still good-natured, just...sleepy. I trusted my instincts and pulled out the ole' glucometer, and sure enough, his blood sugar was pretty low. Not dangerously low, in fact it was in the "normal" range, but it was pretty low considering he was due for another shot in an hour. After consulting this feline diabetes website I found and calling the ER vet for advice, I waited an hour and tested it again. It has gone up a little, but not much. And he's not eating as much or as enthusiastically as usual. So I'm waiting another 20 minutes and I'm going to have to test him AGAIN. I just want to make sure his numbers are going up, not down, before I go to bed. And I skipped the nighttime insulin shot, btw. My regular vet will get a phone call Monday to consult about lowering his dosage, as maybe it's working a little too well.

BUT -- and now I have finally reached my circuitous point -- I can't believe I'm actually capable of sticking a lance in my kitty-handsome's ear and getting it onto the tiny strip before he flicks it everywhere (live and learn, my friends), and get a reading before the glucometer shuts itself off. Rock. On. I hate blood, yet I am doing this. So, yay me. And yay, Jess, for improving so quickly! On that note, I leave you with Jess's very explicit comment on the whole prickly affair...

Busted.

He knows. The Grey Wonder knows. Instead of pretending to ignore the needle I stick in between his shoulder blades when he’s eating, yesterday he confronted it for the first time. When I started pulling up the skin on his neck, he whipped his head around, like “Hey!” So I held the needle out for him to sniff. And held my breath. And he went back to eating and let me give him the shot.

You know what’s funny? Now that he “knows” what I’m doing? He makes a little squeak/growl to acknowledge the shot, whereas before he didn’t make a sound. I think it’s very cool that he lets me do it without a hassle. It’s almost like he can tell it’s part of what makes him feel better lately.

I love my little gray man. I hope he lives forever.

just checking in...

I've been busy lately, blahblahblah. But really, I have. Here's what's been going on:

• I've been giving Jess two insulin shots a day for a week now, and today he is at the vet getting his blood glucose curve, so we know if we're getting him the right amount of insulin
• Jess does not care about getting shots -- he stands still for me and doesn't even wince - or stop eating for that matter.
• Weird (super-weird) fact: the same week I found out Jess had diabetes? My brother, in San Antonio, found out one of his kitties has it too. And needs two shots a day. Weird.
• My apartment complex is raising my rent $150/month if I renew my lease
• They can kiss my a** -- I'm moving :)
• But I'm not buying; I decided to pay for my freedom (rent) for another year
• I already found a place i'm in love with
• I should know something by tomorrow
• Work is still crazy busy
• I might be moving in two to three weeks
• Tomorrow night I'm meeting a good Austin friend of mine for dinner in South Denver -- she's in Col. Springs for a work conference and we're going to meet halfway - yay!

Um... okay. That about covers it for today... any questions???