Well, because! Because I have unrealistic expectations. Because I really, really like myself just exactly this way. Because when I’m single I’m funny and rambunctious and relaxed. Because love makes me anxious and worried about losing things and having been there just too many times, the idea of loving anyone or anything more than my idiot cat absolutely terrifies me. That’s how come!
OMG. She totally stole that out of my brain, only I’ve never verbalized it so clearly. I read that and just…stopped. She’s exactly right. That is how I feel.
At first I felt such an utter sense of relief that I am not the only one. Followed by a swift, crippling sadness. Then that faded right back to relief at my simple, selfish, carefree life. I am not sad, not really; I know I will let someone in when I’m "good damn and ready", as my friend Christine used to say…
1 comment:
amen! Just one thing to add: Because I haven't met anyone that deserves to be with me yet.
not that I have a big head or anything. ;) But you know, it's the whole "why settle for anything less than perfect?" Course, I'd have to change the cat to 2 dogs. (big grin)
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