second wind

Well for the past two days, Jess has perked up considerably. I have no idea why, but I'm stoked about it! He's been chasing after Piper again, purring normally instead of the rattle-purr, and he's just generally been really playful, which is weird for Jess anyway...but it makes me happy to see him happy. Right now he's draped over a pillow next to me on the couch, staring at me while I type this. Maybe his meds finally kicked in? In any event, I'm cautiously optimistic. I really want him to have the chance to frolic in the grass again when we move to the new house...

Speaking of the new house, we went out there today and OMG it's basically finished!! On the inside, that is. They even put the carpet in this week! So the only things left on the interior are the blinds, the appliances, and the touch-ups. Outside they still need to paint the rail on the porch and put in the front-yard landscaping. Closing is April 16 -- the countdown is on!! I'm so psyched. Every day I'm in this apartment I hate it more. It's going to be so fun having a house again!

Well I just wanted to update; I am trying to get into the habit of writing more often, so what that means for anyone reading is that there are going to be a lot of boring posts where I just say "hey, I'm writing, whhheeeeee!"

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. It was in the low 70s today, and by the time we wake up in the morning it will be in the 30s with 3-6 inches of snow. Yeehaw, that's how we roll in Colorado :)

Score.

I can't help it -- I'm still riding the incredible high of finding a diamond in the pile of coal that is the Ross shoe department. Oh, it happens now and then; my sistah has had more luck finding treasures there than I have. But tonight I became a believer. I found these boots (in black). For $19.99. OMG. They're so beautiful, so leathery, so funky. And so 80% off their normal price!!! A deal like this is found maybe once a season. Maybe. Last year I found The Deal unknowingly, on, haha, another pair of black boots. But they were totally different. They were. {shut up.}

Anyway, I can't get over the rush I have had for a few hours now. This led me to consider how incredibly sad it is that shopping gave me the biggest high I've had all week, since I went white water rafting last Friday. That's right. I said WHITE WATER RAFTING. Me, Lisa, the lifelong water-phobe. And it was fun, really fun!! I will post pics soon. You have to see 'em to believe 'em. The best I can do right now is to show you the post-rafting feast, where me and my pals ate what were possibly the best cheeseburgers in the world. Evah. You can see that we are still a little damp from the river. Behold:

Me, eating a cheeseburger.*

G., eating a cheeseburger.

and finally,

A., G.'s sister, eating a cheeseburger.

I leave you with that. I'm going to go cuddle with my new boots now.


*this might be the only existing photo of me without lipstick since I was 11.

Rekindling my Colorado spirit

I have been in a weird emotional place lately. I think it's because it is summertime, which for the past 20 years has been my least favorite season, and now that I'm here and there's not mind-numbing heat, I'm able to focus on and remember the years in which it was actually my favorite time of the year. I've talked about Spring Canyon before, but I hadn't really thought about it in a long time. Like, since I've moved here, really. Which is insane. That place and those people had such a profound effect on me, changing who I was and how I thought about myself. I honestly don't know if I would have survived high school if not for my yearly escape to the mountains.

So imagine my surprise when I was driving toward the mountains last week, on my way home from visiting the nephews in south Denver, feeling kind of moody and a little bit lonely; wondering when this place would feel like home; and then SHAZAAM, the realization that um, I have felt at home here before, and I'll bet if I looked around a little bit, I could even reconnect with some of the dear people I knew so well 20 (gulp) years ago. In other words, HELLO, Spring Canyon is only a couple of hours away!!! And a handful of the people I befriended there were from Denver, so I'll bet I could get on google and dig up at least some of them. It's so bizarre to me how that epiphany, a) took so long to happen, and b) made me instantly think of Denver differently; not as a giant, foreign city to conquer, but as somewhere where I had very happy memories when I was much, much younger.

So, note to self: begin excavation Spring Canyon. Before the summer is gone. I'd love to drive up there for a weekend and see if anyone I know still works there. I would love it even more if my dear friend Kelly, the only person I am still close to who understands and remembers that time, could explore it with me. KJ, that is a not-so-subtle nudge to get up here :)

I'm thinking a roadtrip is in order... I don't know about you, but I definitely need to reconnect with that other Lisa, the one who could laugh with her whole body, love with her whole soul, and truly escape the troubles of everyday life, if only for a few weeks a year. I live here now - I'm thinking I should work on making that carefree, optimistic attitude more of an everyday thing.

spring in colorado

So yesterday it was another lovely spring day with highs in the 60s; I actually saw tulips poking through their bulbs and birds that appeared to be flying back to CO instead of away from it. I went to bed last night with my windows cracked and a cat on my head, as per the usual. This morning I woke up to 5 inches of snow, and it was still coming down. It stopped for a few hours in the afternoon, then started up again just in time for rush hour -- but this snow was not like the other snow. This snow didn't stick to the roads or sidewalks. It fell in giant, wet flakes, accumulating on the grass, open bulbs, tree branches, but not the roads--the roads were simply wet. I'm told this is normal for this time of year.

I like it. I wasn't quite ready to relinquish winter, my favorite season.

That's all I got. More soon...........

I find I’m flakier in Colorado

Now I know my Texas friends are all like, “HUH? Is that possible? You mean she bails on even more HHs and parties there than here???” Um, no. I mean literally flaky. As in, my skin falls off in delicate little flakes.

(Note: This is a beauty product post, so my thousands of male readers might want to stop here.)

My sister warned me this would happen. You see, I’ve never been a lotion-all-over-my-body person; I only put lotion on my feet, at night, before I go to sleep. I don’t know, shut up. Anyway, in Austin it was so humid all the time that I had no need to add more moisture to myself. But finally, halfway into November in CO, my arms itch. And my legs. And my back. And it’s freaking me out. Here’s the thing – I am far too lazy to lotion up my whole self. It’s just a lot of work, and then my hands are all wrinkly and over-moisturized. So I’m adjusting. There must be a better, more methodical way to get the job done than what I’m doing. It would probably also be more pleasant if I shaved my legs, but that’s neither here nor there.

So the good news is, I’m finally using up all the frilly lotions I’ve accumulated over the past two or so years of my beauty-product obsession. So that’s good. The bad news is, I’ve naturally become more high-maintenance just by moving here. BUT … the reduction in bad hair days ALMOST evens it out. ALMOST.

In other beauty news, I just discovered that Secret has a deodorant scent called “Sparkling Vanilla,” and no, it doesn’t affix glitter to your armpits. However, it smells much lovelier than your average floral/”fresh” scented deodorant.

That is all the girly-ness for today, I believe.

CO photo array

Tonight I finally FINALLY downloaded the pics of CO I've taken on my camera in the past few weeks. So in lieu of a deep and meaningful post, instead, I present you with my photo array.
First is the first snowstorm of the season. I say "first" because there have been THREE!!! This one was a couple of weeks ago, and it was my first real snow since I was 11. The photos are taken from my apartment balcony.




Now, here's a pic of the giant snowstorm we had last Thursday - 18 inches or so - my sistah posted pics of their antics on the big day. I stayed indoors and took pics instead...

Exploring Colorado: Chapter 2

This past weekend was an interesting one. I got up early on Saturday to get a massage. Which – yay! On my way home afterwards, I was hungry and passed a Denny’s-type breakfast place – so I stopped and had breakfast. Alone. And didn’t even feel too self conscious. Then I went home and took a nap, which is fortunate because I didn’t yet know the plans that had been put into motion for that night… bwa ha ha ha ha!!!

But seriously. My friend K got us tickets to see a play downtown – downtown Denver, which I had not seen yet and had been dying to explore! An actor she worked with on a video recently was in the play. She also invited a long-ago friend of hers living in Denver, and he then invited us to the Grand Opening of the new wing of the Denver Art Museum – at midnight!!! (theme: exclamation points). The deal is, the tickets were free, but people had to stand in line to get them last week and they were for specific time slots – the museum was open for something like 35 hours straight. So ours was at midnight. He just happened to have two extras. We joked that we wouldn’t be home til 3, ha ha ha! Um…we weren’t.

So the play was really really good. And those of you who know me well know that I’m not usually a live production type of person – watching people perform, live, gives me a stomachache. I think it’s because I project how I would feel in that situation onto them – and I cringe if there is even the slightest mistake. I know – freak. But anyway, it was funny and interesting. After the play, we still had three hours to kill until midnight so we stayed for the (prepare yourselves) comedy improv group that performed after the play. Now – I typically hate live comedy. Same reason as above, except add to that the extreme discomfort if they’re not funny. But – it was really funny and entertaining and an all-around good time. We then had two hours left, so we went to a bar called Hamburger Mary’s and chatted until it was time for the museum.

The museum. It was awesome. It has received a lot of attention for its unusual and famously-designed architecture, which while somewhat impractical, was very stunning to look at. And it was also surreal being in a packed museum at midnight! There were soooo many people there, and some good people watching too. I definitely got a glimpse into the hip side of Denver. The first exhibit we saw was my favorite, but we spent about 2 ½ hours exploring before heading home for the night. Arriving at my doorstep at 3am.

Sunday was a complete loss, but so worth it. Finally, I have seen downtown! I have ventured out of my comfort zone of North Denver/Boulder! I have seen a museum in a new city!

So there you go.

Excuse me while I dust myself off after my fall from the face of the earth...

Um, yeah. So I haven't posted in a while. It's not that I have had nothing to say, I've just been ... preoccupied, and too busy to say it! Even now, I can't think of a quick way to sum up the past couple of weeks except through my favorite format, a LIST! I know, choke back your excitement. In the past two weeks, I have:

- entertained the lovely Hope, who visited me from Austin
- replaced the battery in my car
- bought a lovesac


(yeah, that's me on it -- doesn't Colorado look good on me?? riiiiiggghhhttt......)

- been swallowed by said lovesac
- hung pictures in my apartment - finally!
- babysat my nephews
- hosted my sistah for a girl's night
- discovered the wonders of HBO On Demand

So I've been somewhat busy. But still, I apologize for my absence. Sadly, I've got nothing else to share at the moment, except that YAY, Monday's over! More soon....don't worry, i'll think of something...

Exploring Colorado: Chapter 1

On Sunday, we had the most perfect. weather. evah. It was in the 40s in the morning and only reached maybe 60 all day long! Perfect for sunbathing? No. But for hiking? Oh yeah baby. So I got up early (yes! on a Sunday!) and me and my friend Kirby drove up to Boulder (about 15 minutes -- because WE LIVE HERE AND IT ROCKS) and went for a several-hour-long hike. I'm probably going to spell this wrong, but the park is called Chautauqua and has tons of trails; we picked one that was supposed to be easy.

Um. Maybe for someone who can actually breathe the CO air, perhaps; but for me? Still adjusting to the altitude and out-of-shape to boot? Let's just say it was a bit...challenging... But Kirby was very patient with me and took lots of pics every 2 minutes when I had to stop, gasping for breath. I will now post some of the pics. And please note the hella blue sky... that ain't no Texas sky, my friends :)


Before the hike: hopeful; naive


After 5 minutes of hiking at a slight incline







The rest of those are views of the Flatirons (which I can also see from my apartment) and then me and Kirby sitting in these stone chairs someone built up at the top. Also, I learned today, upon bragging to someone at work that I went to the "mountains" this weekend, that "those aren't the mountains; those are hills". Um. To this Texas girl? THEY'RE MOUNTAINS.

Out, out, damn box

I did it. Today I removed all the empty boxes from my apartment. I am so. happy. I figured since it was in the 50s all day i should take advantage of the minimal sweating (yes that was a not-so-subtle rub to my friends in Tejas). Well, that, and my cable box is broken and I can't change the channel. So, you know. unpacking.

I can't believe the last time I wrote was Monday, but this week was so busy and went by so fast. Now that I'm working again, I'm back on "agency time" which means the freakishly swift passage of time due to living in a deadline-driven world. For example, my mind is already on October b/c my project has to be finished by the end of September. But I don't want to talk about work today. No. Since I have to work all weekend, i'm not going to talk about it on my blog too. Ugh.

Last night my friend from work invited me to go to this "Mexican" restaurant with another girl from work who said it was "awesome" (note: this girl is from CO). Yes, I know I'm an idiot, but I got my hopes up that it would actually fulfill the TexMex craving I've been having. (what? this is the first time in more than 20 years that i've gone w/out texmex for more than 3 weeks). Well, me and K were polite and ate all our food (K is also from TX) and it was a good time and all, but the second we got in the car K said "was that not the worst Mexican food you've ever had in your life, or what??" Note for the future: don't believe anyone who's not from TX on their Mexican food recommendations. This place even had shitty margaritas, people. Not that I didn't still finish mine, but it was not. the same. thing.

So last night was fun and today I've been working, both on work and on my apartment. Toomorrow is all work and then Monday I'm going to my sistah's for a cookout. It's supposed to be nice all weekend (60s) so I'm tres excited. Incidentally, I'm all about setting records here; not only have I gone the longest w/out TexMex in 20 years, I've also had my AC off for the longest in 20 years. Yeehaw!

That's the quick update. I just wanted to check in so people don't think I'm dead. I'm buried alright, but not in dirt...

Oh, and a shout-out to Babs who celebrated a momentous birthday yesterday! Babs, I'm SO GLAD YOU WERE BORN!! Love you and wish I could be there... well except for the weather... ;)

Fire drill: A great way to meet your neighbors!

Around 9:15 last night, as I was watching Rock Star: Supernova (which I HATE, btw. Except for Lukas…), this hideously piercing beeping began in earnest, causing the kitties to scuttle in all different directions. Turns out it was the building fire alarm – unbeknownst to me, there is a central fire alarm system that has TWO loud speakers in EVERY apartment. Very. Loud.

I stepped into the hallway to find everyone on my floor doing the same thing. It was weird – I was finally viewing the pod people. I wasn’t alone in the building after all! Some were in pajamas, some were drunk, but everyone was annoyed. There was a global “WTF” vibe going on. Camaraderie at its best. (I will note there was at least one hot guy who apparently just moved in also…). When the alarm didn’t go off for 5 minutes, we sighed and shuffled down 8 flights of stairs to the sidewalk below. We were huddled into little groups, and I found myself thinking, “Great. Finally meeting the neighbors and I’m not even wearing a bra.” In talking to a woman in a bathrobe clutching a cat in a cat carrier, I found out she was my next door neighbor! She’s older than me, but seemed funny and she’s definitely a cat person. As I stuck my fingers into the cage and played with her cat, she whispered that she’s only supposed to have one cat, but she actually has FOUR. Made me feel better that I only have two when I supposedly have one. Over the next HALF HOUR, as the lights continued to flash and the beeping continued, we noted there was no sign of the fire department. Niiiice. I felt guilty for leaving the cats in the apt, but I knew there was no way in hell I’d ever get them into the cat carriers again, after the recent road trip debacle.

All in all, it was a useless false alarm that allowed me to meet a few people in my building. The cat lady next door said to come by anytime; I’m only slightly hesitant because I fear that could be me in 10 years -- alone with an alarming number of felines. Although I suppose I should just learn to embrace such a fate; it will make it easier on everyone in the long run, don’t you think?

10 Things Not to Do After Moving to a New City

1. Do not freak out and eat three+ cookies from the newly discovered yummy bakery across the street. After eating a large sandwich for lunch. And consuming a large Dr. Pepper. Hello, SUGAR CRASH.
2. Do not spend so much time shopping in the first week that you lose all perspective of reality. For example, do not -- no matter how tempting -- do NOT pay $24.99 for a “pretty” toilet plunger at Target. Do. Not.
3. Resist the almost uncontrollable urge to roll your eyes every time someone says something about the wretched heat. Even though it’s true that CO people don’t know what “real” heat is, the eye rolling can be taken as offensive and bitchy and you’re trying to MAKE friends.
4. Try not to glom onto every person who gives you half a smile. It only makes you seem desperate. And they don’t need to know this until/unless they get to know you…
5. Do not slip back into the habit of wearing no makeup to work just yet -- this is a new start, try and make the most of it. These people don’t know yet that you’re uber-lazy.
6. Do not start unexpectedly crying the first time your BT calls you from Austin “just to see how you’re doing”. It’s embarrassing, really.
7. Do not bug your friends back home every single day about how they need to move to Colorado. Take it easy — every other day is fine.
8. Do not let yourself get sucked into the magic of the new DVR until you have at least unpacked the TV remote control. Have some standards, yeesh.
9. Do not lame out and stop at 9. Unless you reallllly can’t think of anything else.

(I’m tired, okay??????)

stuff! i have it!

So the movers came on Saturday. Night. But still! I have my stuff, finally! It was a fiasco til the bitter end; they showed up earlier in the day with an 18-wheeler that wouldn’t fit anywhere near my apt. building and couldn’t even make the turn into my complex. So they had to go RENT a Ryder truck, unload my stuff, reload it into the new truck, come back, THEN bring everything up 8 flights of stairs. Um, yeah. Luckily – not my problem. The problem I DO have is that I just moved from a 3-bedroom house w/2-car garage into a 2-bedroom apt. with virtually no storage. Not pretty. Not pretty at all. Right now there are more boxes empty than full, but removing the boxes from my apt. requires me to lug them back down 8 flights of stairs. So who knows when THAT will all be done. I’m still panting helplessly with the altitude, so it may take months…

Nicole came over Sunday to help me unpack (THANK GOD) and we tried an experiment where I dropped a box off my balcony (um, 4th floor) to the sidewalk below; and while the box didn't explode or anything, it made a "WOOF" sound that sounded a leeettle too much like a gunshot. So we decided not to drop any more lest the police show up. And arrest us for box dropping. The problem is there's so much damn paper in each box; breaking them down doesn't make it that much easier to carry down 8 flights of stairs. Ugh.

BUT. I have TV now. And while I have yet to unpack the damn TV remote, I can change channels manually (yes! TVs still do that!) and I’m slowly but surely remembering when my shows are on. It’s like I have moving amnesia or something; I have forgotten what comes on what day at what time; what I used to watch; my routine is so messed up. Which was the point, though, wasn’t it? I wanted to shake things up – well I have, that’s for damn sure ;)

Work is going well. I have a rule not to blog about work, but I will say that while it’s going well, there are over 100 people I don’t know and I HATE being the new person. So again, time will make it better. In the meantime, I’m shopping on my lunch hours since there’s pretty much everything one could ever need within 2 miles of the office (and my apt.) and believe it or not, even with all the shit from my house there are still pieces of furniture I need to buy. Where’s an IKEA when you need one? It kills me that a new one was just about to open in Austin when I left. Siggghhhh…..

Ok, that was the quick update. I have been taking lots of pics, so at some point I will post those. Must find my CPU first, though – it’s in one of the 100s of boxes in my “office” at home…

solitude

So here I am on Night 2 of Project Apartment-Camp Colorado (PACC). Today I caught up a bit on my sleep, then went exploring. I hit the retail jackpot when I discovered a Super Target, Ross, and TJ Maxx just 5 minutes away – IN THE SAME SHOPPING CENTER. I swear, I almost took a picture of this shopping nirvana, but decided that was too geeky even for me. I feel pretty geeky so far; I’m wearing ratty moving/traveling clothes everywhere because – guess what – that’s ALL I HAVE. Sigh. Tomorrow I have to go clothes shopping. Normally that wouldn’t be considered a chore at all, but it’s no fun when it’s required. Much like college reading or married sex. haha. ha…… (hey, i can say that -- I was married)

I bought a semi-non-ugly lamp at Target, so I can read in air mattress tonight instead of struggling with this lame bendy booklight I bought a while back. I’m going to have to go back and buy Q-tips tomorrow; it’s funny what you miss, y’know? Besides the lamp, my best purchase today was little speakers for my iPod, so at least I can listen to tunes. Thank God. It’s so quiet! Well, except for the door-slamming and neighbor-peeing I can hear. Ahh, apartment living. We (me and los gatos) will get used to it, I’m sure.

I’m currently hi-jacking a wireless connection from one of my hundreds of neighbors, so I’m going to post this and go read my book. In summary, here is a short list of improvements today over yesterday:

- I have an air-mattress-side lamp
- I have musica
- Jess is off the fridge, finally
- It’s 70 degrees outside!

More soon. I’ll be sure to update often with PACC happenings…
me

musings from colorado

I can hear the sound of things falling into place, with little light plinks, clicking with satisfying snaps. Thoughts running loose in my head. I try to read, but my mind wanders. Beyond logistics, or money, or work. I am recalling things from my past, things that in retrospect, have all lead up to my present. It is disconcerting.

BT sent me a message tonight, uncharacteristically thoughtful of him. Uncharacteristically mindful, actually – I was not aware that he kept track of my whereabouts or remembered my schedule. But I am reminded of a time, many years ago, when he called me, and I listened in silence as he haltingly apologized to me. Even then it was surreal to hear him say it was his fault, not mine. He had been an idiot, I had not been too clingy, too emotional, too anything. He was simply too…himself. And long ago, we tried again to make it work. Tried to be more, tried to be everything. And there were – are – moments of synchronicity. But it has been years since I thought we could be anything but what we are now. So I wonder why these memories of a more innocent, more hopeful time, are visiting me tonight, so far away from home. Or is that exactly why?

My heart aches with the knowledge of all that I am leaving behind to come here, to start fresh, to “reboot” my life, so to speak. I will not lose my dear friends, and Austin will still be there, waiting for me, but everything will change, more than I can probably imagine at this point. Will I feel the additional distance between myself and those of my friends that I already see sporadically? Or will it feel pretty much the same, with phone calls and emails and visits. Will they forget about me? Will they fill in the gap of me and continue, the same but different? And just how lonely will I be here, thousands of miles away, alone at a new job, a new city, a new life. What will I do when I plummet into my occasional darkness, when I hit my internal emotional wall? Who will I call when I need to connect, when I need someone to hold me? I know there will be other arms, new arms in my future, but will that soften the blow of losing the arms that hold me now?

Tomorrow is going to be exhausting and I should try to sleep. A full day of more interviews, then a race to the airport to catch a flight home, where I will fall into bed tired and mindless and not be able to sleep because there will be two needy felines anxiously curling around my body, nuzzling my ears, mewing their relief that I am home.

Home?

Why Colorado?

It occurred to me that the 80 frillion strangers faithfully reading my blog every day might not know why I'm so drawn to Colorado. Obviously, my nephews are there, but me and Colorado go way back. Me and Colorado are old friends.

It all started back in the late 70s, when my family went to Spring Canyon for our summer vacation. Spring Canyon was/is a retreat-type place run by OCF -- Officer's Christian Fellowship. It was/is a beautiful, rustic, friendly and affordable vacation spot for those in the military and their families. For two summers, we went there, and I fell in love. Those two weeks, one each summer, affected me greatly and I truly believe that's where my wanderlust began. Being an army brat anyway, I already wasn't afraid of living in different places, but CO might be somewhere I would choose to go on my own someday. Tucked into the Rocky Mountains and neighboring a small town appropriately called Buena Vista, Spring Canyon was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. I also made several friends I would connect with again in later years.

Here's the deal: Spring Canyon is kept clean and orderly by a volunteer staff of teenagers from all over the world. In exchange for free room and board, they would rotate several groups of 16-20 teens throughout the summer, teens who got the "camp" experience without the yucky tents and stuff :) The food was home-cooked, and part of the support staff's job was to help in the kitchen and serve meals. We had a few hours of downtime each day where we could do our own thing, and even one day off a week where we didn't have to work at all.

Ok, I already gave it away with the "we" -- as soon as I was old enough, 15, I applied and was accepted as a staff member during the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school. Knowing I had this to look forward to helped me make it through some rough boyfriend moments that year in school. I couldn't wait to go and experience my first real bout with independence in a "safe" venue. As expected,I loved it. I was there for a 5-week stint, which was the longest I'd ever been away from family. I missed them, but also discovered how good it is to miss something sometimes, so you appreciate it more when you return. I made lifelong friends that summer and even had a mini (very mini) romance with one of the guests. This was against the rules and scandalous, but hey -- what did they expect with a bunch of teenagers and pretty mountains? It was very innocent, but it was enough to make my boyfriend back home jealous and actually shape up for a month or so before deteriorating back to asshole-status. But I digress.

The second summer I went was for 6 weeks. I was 16, a little older and wiser, and embraced the whole experience with joy and no fear of the unknown. This was the summer I truly came into my own. I found I wasn't that "shy" after all -- the label I'd always had in school was not true, much to my surprise. I felt popular for the first time in my post-elementary-school life, but we were such a close-knit group that there were no "outsiders", unlike "real life". Spring Canyon was an amazing, life-altering escape from reality, which was something I really needed. It was a little pocket in time where I could laugh til I cried and be myself and feel spiritual, stuff I was too tied in knots to do at home during the rest of the year. And the second summer, I had a summer romance. His name was Marshall and he was the first soccer player I would be involved with (in an ongoing stream of soccer players...heh). We were 16, beautiful, filled with the magic of the place, surrounded by people we liked and respected, and we fell in love. I still had my boyfriend back home, but what a difference it made to finally have a comparison. Marshall made Chris's faults all the more hideous, and I came back that summer not quite as susceptible to his bullshit. Marshall and I wrote tons of letters that year and called each other once a week, taking turns. He lived in North Carolina. We finnagled and prayed and crossed our fingers and toes, and somehow ended up on the same staff for our third summer.

The third summer. I was gone a full 7 weeks this time, because I went up early and stayed late with my friend Kelly at her home in Co. Springs. In between was the joy, the drama, the heartbreak, the strength, and more dear friends. Every year it was harder to go home to my blah life in San Antonio and my disappointing boyfriend. Things in Texas just weren't as shiny as in Colorado. My friends in CO "got" me. I didn't think most of my friends in TX "got" me. Of course Marshall and I had a disastrous and dramatic breakup within our first couple days together, but I learned how to concede with grace that summer. It was painful, yes, but my heart had already been ripped into bloody shreds by my h.s. sweetheart, so it was not unbearable. Even when Marshall paired off with another girl on staff, Becky, I couldn't be mad at her because she was so awesome and I loved her so much. Plus, I knew they didn't have the same spark we had the previous summer. The point is, I didn't freak out and it didn't ruin my trip, like it might have two years prior. I had grown, as a person and as a friend. I left my third summer at Spring Canyon to return to TX for my senior year, which is a whole novel in itself.

Every summer in CO, I became more convinced that I felt more myself there, that I felt more at home, more comfy, more at peace. I could hear myself think there. And the mountains made me feel closer to all that is good in the world. I continued flirting with Colorado during college, when I would go home with my friend Kelly for Spring Breaks. Yes, the one from Spring Canyon, who lived in Co. Springs. She ended up being my roommate in college for a couple of years.

When I met who would become my husband (then ex-husband), I was very clear with him that I had no intention of staying in TX forever. That I was biding my time until I could move back to CO. He would laugh and roll his eyes and pat me on the head, like "silly lisa, whatever you say..." It wasn't until we were married that I realized he had no intention of ever leaving Texas.

In fact, I had a job opportunity AT Spring Canyon right after I graduated from college -- but I chose to stay in Texas because my ex and I were supposed to get engaged. I chose him over my true love. Live and learn.

When my sis and her family moved to Denver last summer, it was bittersweet. I was sad they wouldn't be nearby anymore, but at the same time, I was excited they'd be in one of my favorite places on earth. And in the back of my mind, I was thinking "hmmm....." I would tell people "well if something were to happen with my job, who knows...". Well, people, that something happened and I have a promising job lead in Denver -- and THAT'S Why Colorado.

As afraid as I am to uproot the life I've built here in Austin, all my dear friends, my career contacts, my sense of "home", I am just as excited to start fresh somewhere else. And not just any somewhere...but Colorado.

So. We shall see.