secret thoughts

• I don’t really like children all that much; only if there’s an emotional attachment (only nephews, friends' kids, etc).
• I fear I will wake up at 50 and wish I'd had children.
• I think I would be a shitty mother.
• I fear growing old by myself.
• I'm afraid I'll be poor when I retire.
• I am afraid that if I don’t lose the weight now, no one will ever love me in time to keep me from growing old by myself.
• I’m afraid that if I lose the weight and someone falls in love with me, I will secretly resent them forever for only loving skinny me.
• I’m think it’s inevitable that I will die of cancer or heart disease.
• I’m afraid I’ll always be in love with him.
• I’m scared that I’m losing touch with some of my closest friends because I moved out of state.
• I feel sad when I think about my other friends having kids because I know it will take them further away from me.
• I still fantasize about marrying a millionaire and never having to work again.
• I’m afraid if I didn’t have to work I’d go mad and/or gain 500 pounds.
• I think I’m unlovable—ultimately, men have always chosen mates other than me.
• I am often torn between lonely and grateful for my solitude.
• I’m too attached to my cat.
• Sometimes I really wonder what the point of it all is.
• I don’t like my job.
• I’m afraid something will happen to one of my parents and I won’t be able to get there in time.
• I feel very disconnected right now.
• I'm afraid I will never be published.
• I worry that my nephews won't like me when they get older.
• PMS kicks my ass.